I have recently come back from two wonderful and memorable family vacations. The vacations made me think about a common saying, “the slippery slope.” This is the concept that once you have already spent so much money, wasted so much time, or eaten way too many sweets, what is a little bit more?
My family is very big on special treats and eating whatever you want on vacation. It is vacation! It is supposed to be a time to enjoy. Vacations don’t happen very often, so live it up. All of this is true but it can also go too far.
With regards to money, I think it is common for people to fall down the slippery slope of spending more and more when planning a wedding, doing a home renovation, Christmas shopping, or being on vacation.
I know many of us right now are using the rationalization of, “we haven’t been on vacation or done anything for the past year or year and a half, so I deserve this.” Or “This expenditure counts for both last year’s and this year’s spending (on a vacation or new clothes or whatever you are justifying spending more money on at the moment). In various ways, we are trying to make up for the “lost year” due to COVID. And yes, it was a hard and challenging year, more so for some than others. We want normalcy. We want special treats. We want a change in scenery. We want fun.
Like everything else, this can be good or bad. Yes, we do deserve to enjoy our special, unique, once in a blue moon vacation. Yet, I am writing about this today because I also think it can be so easy to fall down the slippery slope of, “oh, what is another couple hundred dollars, especially after you have already spent more than expected or planned?”
To help with the slippery slope, think about what you REALLY want. What is most important? Maybe you can spend the money or afford the extra calories and need the change of scenery or luxurious treat to help rejuvenate your soul. Only you know what you need and what will help you feel good.
What we don’t want is the painful hangover and regret from spending too much, eating too much or drinking too much. Some of these are easier to recover from than others.
I am bringing this up today because I think we all can relate to and have experienced the “Oh, what the Hell, what is another _____________ at this point? Why stop now? It truly is a slippery slope that once you start going down it can get harder and harder to stop.
Think about those times in the past where you allowed yourself to fall victim to the slippery slope.
Was it worth it? If so, great.
If not, what can you learn from it?
Did it take you months to climb out of credit card debt after splurging too much on Christmas gifts or going through a divorce? Maybe you still have the debt. This is where it can feel overwhelming and you may not feel like you can make a valuable or significant change.
Once again, the consistency of behaviors is more important than the once in a while. If you consistently over spend or over eat, it is hard to recover. If it is a once a year thing (which is how my family views vacation) then it is much easier to recover and get back on track. All of this depends on the magnitude of the splurging and IF you can easily get back on track.
I will never forget at my 30th birthday party, a good friend had quit smoking for about a year. Then at my party she had a cigarette and then was smoking regularly again. I felt horrible about that. I know it was her choice but this is an example of where a stumble became a fall. She had worked so hard to quit smoking and then that one instance of weakness and she fell down the slippery slope and took up smoking again for several years. Ugh.
Gretchen Rubin talks about the slippery slope and the “What the Hell” phenomena in her book, Better Than Before. She talks about how we do not want to let a small stumble become a major fall. We do not want to stay down once we have fallen yet human nature can make this challenging. To help with this, she discusses having planned exceptions. If you are not going to eat healthy or worry about what you eat on vacation, then know what your plan is for getting back on track when you come back. Set clear boundaries and have a plan ahead of time.
If it is around money, try to set a budget or limit before you get there. If you know this is something you have struggled with in the past, how can you prevent it from happening again? Think about how you will feel about the planned exception later. Was it worth it? Maybe write yourself a letter. Let your wiser self be able to tell you what you need to be reminded of when you are not “in” the emotional state or falling down the slippery slope.
The other side of this is that you don’t want to be too stringent. You WANT to enjoy your vacation and life. Special treats and doing different things is worthwhile. I am not telling you to deprive yourself. It is more about noticing how easy it can be to go too far and then it is NOT of value or sensible anymore. Only you know your situation and what you value and feels right for you. Notice and plan ahead. Set up guardrails for yourself if this is a common struggle for you.
Enjoy yourself and think about what enough for you is. Be aware and don’t let the slippery slope derail you and what you want longer term.
Wishing you the best,
Tara
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