This weekend marks the year anniversary of the “shutdown.” The day the world stopped. We were not allowed to go anywhere – no playgrounds, no stores, no work, no schools, no friends just your own home. We didn’t know how long it would last. At first, we thought maybe till after spring break. Then, surely it will be over by the summer. We had no idea how bad or how long this would last. Maybe that was a good thing. Ignorance can be bliss although I would not have called that time bliss. But the ignorance helped us hang on and have hope even though we had very bad assumptions.
The level of fear a year ago was HUGE. So big it was like an omnipresent presence. The shape and character of this Fear has changed much over the past year. I wish I had recorded my different perceptions and feelings of this COVID-19 fear. Our knowledge and understanding of this virus has grown tremendously and yet there is still much we don’t know or fully understand. Think how much more we know now than we did then. I remember wiping down all my groceries. It was not convenient or fun but many of us did it to be safer. Now we know that is not necessary.
Things were bad here in New Jersey, especially in the beginning. There were many cases, MANY deaths. People took the situation and threat seriously. I understand and realize that was not as true elsewhere in the country especially at first.
I am now hopeful that things are changing.
We have vaccines.
Thank you to all who worked so hard and got us vaccines quicker than I ever thought possible. Thank you to the front line workers and healthcare people who did what had to be done to help all of us. They put themselves at risk for the rest of society.
We are getting the vaccine out to millions. It is not without issues and challenges, but we are doing it and making great progress quickly. I am hopeful that most of us will be vaccinated by the summer and able to gather for social events and celebrations. It may not be fully “normal” but then I think, I’m not sure I want the old normal. In fact, I know there are parts of “the before,” the old normal, that I don’t want.
I will remember this unique year forever. I want to remember the lessons and struggle and courage and kindness of the people around me. I want to keep going for walks and being outside more. I want to continue to do less and have less scheduled every day. I want less busy-ness for busy-ness sake.
I want to recognize the uncertainty and fear that is always there for us (in a lesser degree) and how we keep going. We figure it out. We help each other. This year has helped me more fully recognize how different and unique each of our situations are and to show kindness, compassion, and learn from these differences.
With great challenges come great growth.
None of us know the damage this year has done to each of us individually or collectively – psychologically, physically, or emotionally. We have some idea of the number of deaths but not the unseen scars and invisible damage.
For me, there was some good in this too – time to be with my family, see more of my distant family and friends more often over Zoom, sleeping in more, enjoying snow and sledding without having to worry about commute times and dangers. (I know a lot of this may not apply to everyone). The luxury for a while of no plans, no expectations. Nothing to do but what we decided to do (ok not really with work and remote school but it DID feel different).
This past year marks a line. There was a definite “before” COVID-19. For me, that date was Friday, March 13, 2020. That day marks the beginning of the shutdown. It was the last day my boys went to school “normally.” We still aren’t back to the previous schedule but they are going in part time (hooray!) and the remote learning is immensely better than last spring.
This past year was a year like no other.
I am not sure there will be as clear a date for the “after”. It may be different dates for different people, and more of a range. Your date may be the two weeks after your last dose of the vaccine, or the day your children go back to school full time, or when you can go back to sporting events or shows. It will be gradual.
Some things will be changed forever and will not go back to the way they were. The loss of so many is one of these tragic forever changes that have sadly affected countless family and friends. I’m not sure about the others – no more snow days with the remote learning capabilities? Wearing masks? Less full time, in person work environments and meetings? We don’t know this yet. We will have to see, but we do know there will be some permanent changes.
I am hopeful that we are moving into a new phase. I feel like we can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Let’s be thoughtful about this next phase:
- What you want to keep and bring forward with you into this next phase?
- What were the lessons and learnings you want to remember going forward?
- What are you ready to let go of?
- What are you excited for and happily anticipating? (Please make room for these and appreciate them when they do happen!)
- What do we NOT want to take for granted ever again in this next new phase, “The After.” (I know I will forever have an appreciation of my children going to school that I took for granted before.)
Start thinking, planning and being purposeful about this time in “The After.”
Wishing you the best,
Tara
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