My son asked me this week if we can burn our masks when COVID is over.
Sigh. I was not sure what to say. I had so many thoughts go through my head. I am not sure there will be an over or a declared “over”. I am afraid masks may be around to stay forever. I truly did not know what to say. Most of my thoughts were not positive or encouraging…
I just listened to Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead podcast with Amy Cuddy on Pandemic Flux Syndrome and highly recommend it. It talks about the ongoing uncertainty and people’s reaction to this crisis. This new phase that we all are in. They also talked about that there probably won’t be a clear cut “end”. There won’t be a Vday for COVID.
I know many of us thought of the vaccine as a magic miracle cure. Yes, in many ways it is a miracle, especially how quickly they were able to do it and get it distributed. The vaccine is a miracle in that those who have received it are not getting as sick or dying in the same numbers as without it. But the vaccine doesn’t make you invincible, and provide the Promised Land like many of us thought.
Those of us with younger kids are still waiting for them to be able to get vaccinated. Although vaccinated or not, the recommendation is back to everyone should wear masks inside. I don’t feel the safety I expected at this point. In some ways I’m more fearful because the delta variant is more contagious and we all are doing many more “normal” things than we did last year.
Will the virus keep changing and we will forever be getting new boosters to help us manage this disease? Will a new disease like this one appear sometime soon? Is this our new future? Plus we have to remember that there are many other diseases, risks and tragic situations too.
I know I have reached a point where I am trying to accept the risk that my family is taking by doing certain activities (like in person school and hockey). I am not afraid that my sons will die from COVID. I am scared of all the uncertainties and possible long lasting effects of this virus that are unknown and seem so different with different people. How likely are they? I honestly don’t know. I am also afraid of the inconvenience of missing school and activities for 10 days if they do get sick or are exposed. And also the stress of feeling responsible for anyone else who may get sick from us if we do test positive.
(Yes, many people have already gone through this and done ok. I am being open and honest here with how I am feeling.)
I am trying to do what I can – wear k95 masks as much as possible, eat outside if we do go out to eat, and also mentally prepare and accept that my boys may get sick at school or one of their activities. We will deal with it.
What can we control? What risks are we willing to take?
These are two of my favorite questions and apply to most everything.
I know for me these questions have been challenging especially when applied to the current pandemic. Each of us have different risk tolerances. Each of us view it differently.
Each of us fear and react differently to different things. It has caused many challenging moments with my husband. We are not always aligned in how we view this risk and what we want to do or are willing to give up. I am more careful (and anxious) than he is. But our choices affect the whole family and possibly others. I admit I am tired of this and then I think about how it could be worse and is worse for many others.
I know I am rambling a little here. I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer. I want to acknowledge that we all are dealing with different things and choices that can be affecting us in various ways. Most of us thought this would be “over” by now or sometime soon. We are now at a new phase of accepting that things are not what we expected. Sometimes I wonder how long and how much worse things could get.
I love how Brené Brown’s podcast talks about how we humans over estimate how good we will feel about positive experiences and also how we over estimate how bad we will feel about negative things. We are stronger and more resilient than we think YET we need to acknowledge when we are struggling and need a break.
Brené Brown’s podcast talked about two common reactions to the pandemic:
1. Wanting to escape and not face or deal with this anymore. We want a break. We want to check out. (“Checking out” can take many different forms.)
2. Those who are craving BIG life changes for various reasons (The BIG Reset).
I think some are wanting a big change because they have had an aha moment in a good way during these past 18 months and some want a big change to avoid or distract themselves from dealing with the current uncertainty. All of this is normal and some of us are experiencing or going between both reactions.
How do we accept the current situation? What we are learning and how can we use it for our own good and long term benefit?
Today’s post was to acknowledge and share how I am feeling and to recommend Brené Brown’s podcast with Amy Cuddy on Pandemic Flux Syndrome.
My key takeaways are that we are not alone and to listen to ourselves and each other. What we are feeling and experiencing is normal in this very unusual global situation. Give and receive love and support during this time. Take care of ourselves and those closest to us. If we all did that, I think things will get, or at least feel better.
Sending love and support.
Tara
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