The Difference Between Giving Up and Letting Go

I received the above quote in a message from Project Happiness and it got me thinking, what IS the difference between giving up and letting go?

I like so much of what this passage says.

I love the idea that letting go should feel expansive and positive and making room for more good things that you want. I feel like giving up or quitting has a negative connotation.

There are times that we should “give up,” yet I think about teaching my boys that we don’t want to quit too easily or in the middle of things. When we make a commitment, we can’t just give up yet we know there are times when ending or stopping IS the right thing to do.

I know for me, getting divorced was extremely hard. I felt like I had failed. I know I tried but should I have tried more? Could I have tried more? Could I have made it work? I don’t know the answers to those questions but I do know that I am immensely more happy and content in my current marriage and want to always make my husband and our marriage a priority for me. I definitely learned some lessons that have helped me.  Some lessons can only be learned through experience.

In my recent “Change your Habits, Change your Life” class, I emphasized that there is no failure. The only failure is giving up, when you stop trying. If you have something you want, keep at it. You may want to change what you are doing or how you are trying to achieve that goal but that is not quitting. That is shifting gears and doing something else that will hopefully get you where you want to be.

Letting go, is also an acceptance of where you are. It has such a different energy. Letting go feels peaceful, calm, soft, nourishing and loving. It is having faith that whatever is meant to be will happen. You can still take action and try different things but it does not feel as urgent or intense.

I know for me, the letting go of certain expectations can change things enough that then the miracles and what you really want happens. I remember I wanted to have a second child SO very much. We struggled and I had this feeling of desperation. I did NOT want to have an only child. It was only when I accepted and really truly was ok with only having one child that I think it happened. It was not just saying I was fine with one child. I had accepted in my heart that we would still be happy and I was truly grateful to have one child to love no matter what happened. I’m not sure when I would have stopped trying but I knew I would have had a peaceful heart when I did, because I was no longer as attached to the outcome.

Letting go can mean many different things. Letting go of material things, of internal or external expectations. I like to think of giving up or quitting as only applying to things that are bad for us. Quit smoking, quit overspending, quit abusing ourselves. You want to quit or stop bad habits.

When do you think giving up is acceptable or even good?

How do you view giving up differently than letting go?

I love thinking about how different words and phrases can change and shift how we feel, think and view things. It is important to pay attention to the words we use. They have a power to help or hurt us.

I think each of us has our own opinions and thresholds and definitions for these two related but different concepts. It is a personal choice and decision for when letting go is a positive, healthy action. A big part of it is listening to yourself. Listening to your wiser self and know what is really important to you.

Maybe “it,” whatever “it” is, that you are letting go of, doesn’t have to happen or look like what you expected. By letting go you may open up and make space for new and better possibilities and options.

Do what is best for you. Only you know what that is.

P.S. If you have read this far, the rest of the Project Happiness email is:

“When things are not progressing, and are constantly draining your energy
when everything you have tried is not working and staying in this cycle is
dragging you deeper, then you have a choice to make.

That choice is not IF you should make a change, it is HOW.

Life is less about what happens to us, than how we interpret it.

Giving up implies self-judgment. You tried, you couldn’t make it work, you gave
up. Not empowering.

Letting go, on the other hand, implies that you have made a choice to free up energy for something more aligned. It means integrating lessons learned and preparing yourself for a better state of mind and a better state of being.

Perspective matters.

The words you tell yourself matter; choose wisely.”

Wishing you only the best,
Tara