I chose to write about screen time today because it affects our happiness. It has similar patterns and ideas related to habits and money (and other areas of your life) that I wanted to share and discuss today.
I was listening to The Happiness Lab podcast and they had a worthwhile episode that talks about many of the ideas I am sharing here, called “Good Screens and Bad Screens.”
One aspect of the pandemic is that most of us are spending more (maybe MUCH more!) time on our screens than ever before – for work, or school or to connect with family and friends and / or for our entertainment.
We hear a lot about being mindful. Mindfulness is about being present and paying attention to how you feel and / how different people and things and situations affect how you feel. Some of these things we can control and some of them we cannot. The main point to this podcast was to pay attention to how your screen time makes your FEEL. Does it fill you up? Is it helping you? Or do you feel yucky and tired and drained or anxious or “less than” after spending certain time on your screen.
This article is NOT for you to beat yourself up on how much time you or your family is spending on screens. Screens are a necessary and unavoidable aspect of our lives. There are good things about it and bad things. Accept that and have compassion for yourself during this unusual time.
This podcast episode talked about your “screen time diet”? Are you wasting spending too much time on things that cause you to feel worse – tired, anxious, or more upset (similar to junk food)? Or is your screen time filling you up by connecting to friends and family that you are not able to see in person right now? Please note that even things that are good for you, in excess or in too large quantities can have a negative effect. It is possible to have too much of a good thing.
You may not realize how much your screen time and its content affect how you feel and what you think. These then get carried over into the “real” physical world with those you are spending time with. If news makes you anxious, decrease or eliminate the news you are taking in. Choose wisely and be intentional for how you spend your (screen) time, your money and what you eat. All are forms of budgeting. Help yourself to do MORE of the good things that will help you feel better and increase your happiness.
Notice how much of your screen time is necessary? How much of your screen time is what you want to be doing? How much of it is a black hole where you lose hours that you didn’t want to and regret later? How much of it is unconscious and you do out of habit to fill time or when you are bored or want to procrastinate? The first step is just to notice. What screen time is required? What screen time makes your feel good? What screen time makes you feel yucky or guilty or you view as a waste? Just notice. Are you consuming too much of all kinds of screen time?
You want to keep your “Good” screen time and decrease your “Bad” screen time. How can you tweak your screen time diet to be better and more nutritious and healthier for you?
As it is very similar to how you spend your money, time, or what you choose to eat, your decisions and what is best for you will be different and unique for each of us. Only you know what gives you joy and seems “worthwhile” for how you want to spend your money or your time or your calories each day. We want to help ourselves make smarter and better choices that add to our happiness and overall wellbeing.
Studies show that when we are stressed or tired, our logic and self-control go out the window. We all are human, we all are animals and will go for the quick fix that will feel good to us NOW. So how do we help ourselves during this stressful time? First, don’t beat yourself up (or is it just me who does this?). We all are doing the best that we can. Some of us are in more survival mode than ever before. My words of advice are:
1) to try to make it as EASY as possible to do the right things, the things we want to do, the things that help us more long term AND also
2) make it as hard or challenging as possible to do the things that we know are not good for us.
Some ideas that you may or may not have heard about are:
- Put your phone away for the night at a designated time not in your bedroom
- No phones at the dinner table
- Turn off your Wi-Fi for certain family times of the day
- Take off the news or social media apps that are on your phone
- Only reply to emails on your computer
Think about what actions you can take to make it as easy as possible to do what you truly want to do and add obstacles to stop you from doing the things you don’t want to do. This is similar to not having junk food in the house. Remove the temptation. There are many ways we can help ourselves. Think about and brainstorm a few actions you could do right now.
Make a list of non-screen time activities that you know you and your family enjoy.
Have this list handy and posted somewhere to help provide reminders and alternatives to the default bad habit of screens, (checking Facebook or email, or ESPN or whatever it is that adds up lost time).
Here are some things I am putting on my non-screen list –
- coloring
- games
- music
- reading a book
- going for a walk or bike ride
- writing a letter or journaling
- organizing one small area of my home
- talking to someone I love in person or on the phone…
Keep adding to the list.
Be intentional about how you spend your screen time.
Yes, some is necessary and we don’t have a choice. Notice where you do have a choice and where you are addicted or unconsciously doing something that you don’t want to do. Come up with easy alternatives. Try some different things. Set boundaries. Boundaries should help you feel better.
Most of us are addicted to our screens. We check our phones hundreds of times a day and don’t even think about it. We don’t even notice how often. We use it as a distraction. Anytime we have to wait for something or have down time we look at or check something on our phones. What if we only allowed ourselves to look at our phones at certain times? They say boredom is good. This is when we are creative and new interesting ideas come to us or when we process thoughts and feelings. As a society, I think part of our issue is that we no longer have the “down” time, the open moments to allow our brain to get bored or think through things.
As with any bad habit or a habit we want to change, first notice. What would you like to change? WHY do you want to change it? Next come up with alternative(s) and an action plan to replace what you were doing and getting from the old habit. Be as specific as possible in the desired action you will take instead. For example, carry around a book that you want to read or listen to instead of looking at social media or news or email on your phone.
What you do and how you spend your time does make a difference for yourself and those around you. Pay attention and try to make some positive changes that help you feel good and better in the long run during this unusual and challenging time.
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