This is the last article I will write about finances and divorce, at least for a while, but I still felt like I had a little more to say on this topic.
Of course everything is always better if we are proactive and doing the right thing with our finances and taking good care of ourselves which is what I spoke to in my past two articles. But the sad truth is that we often do not do what is best for us.
This article is for those who are going through a divorce and do NOT want to deal with their finances and have no idea even where to begin. Things are NOT good financially.
What do you do in this situation? What would or could motivate you to take your head out of the sand and look at the truth and take some action? Think about that. Who do you want to be on the other side of this? What kind of life do you want to have on the other side of this divorce? What steps do you need to take? Really think about that.
This is challenging because I know from my own experience that I was in such a state that I honestly did not care about the money. I just wanted the divorce over and done with. I felt like I could not take it anymore. I was not thinking clearly and I felt like I had no more energy to handle anything else. I was just trying to get through each day and do what I absolutely had to in order to survive emotionally, not even thinking about finances.
Obviously, you have to do the best you can and know that things will get better and can improve emotionally and financially in the future. Start with wherever you are and focus on where you want to go.
Ask for help.
I recommend that you talk to others who have been through this and hear what they learned. But even more than that I highly recommend that you find a professional you can truly trust who can help you so that you don’t feel so overwhelmed and you can rely on their expertise. You want someone who will NOT make you feel stupid, wrong or judged. You want someone who is on your side and looking out for your best interests. They should take the time to explain things to you and know what is important to you and what is not. You need a guide to help support you and get through the divorce and also get you on the right path for your life.
I can tell you that many of us make mistakes and yes, you may be in a big financial hole with a lot of debt that you hate and regret and are ashamed of, because of the divorce or may because of how you and / or your spouse were living before the divorce. Please know that you can turn things around. You can get where you want to go with some action and getting help.
I know people who have climbed out of $50,000 of debt and now have plenty of savings. They did it one step at a time and kept doing the next right thing. They were committed to making changes and worked at it. I’m not saying it was easy but it IS possible so I know you can do it.
The point to this article is to let you know that it is OK if things are ugly and you are overwhelmed and scared. Take it one step at a time and find professional(s) who will help you get where you want to be.
Anything is possible if you believe it.
How do you want your financial situation to be?
How do you want to live your life?
Who do you want to be?
Think about these big questions and take a step(s) towards it. I would love to help you.
P.S. I started this article to address people going through divorce who may not be on the best financial footing and then I realized that this advice can really be applied to anyone – with the exception that I think people going through divorce maybe more emotionally overwhelmed than the average person.
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