Related to my article last week, I interviewed an impressive woman who is involved in the Catholic Church. She grew up going to Catholic schools and, from my perspective, lives a happy, fulfilling and meaningful life.
She made it sound easy, (almost too easy) to be making a difference in this world. But that is where the beauty lies. Those who are truly good at something make it look easy. She has made the effort and taken the time to continuously help others and also to better herself. She talked to me about how she does her examination of conscience every night. I was also taught this religious practice, but it is not something that I honestly have done or thought about in a very long time.
The Examination of Conscience, is the practice of thinking through and compiling a list of your failings and sins.
Yet, as part of my “life coaching” and success principles, I have been taught and often do an evaluation of myself and my actions regularly.
- What went well today?
- What did not go so well?
- What were my lessons today?
- What could I have done better?
- How could I have been kinder or more helpful?
I contemplate these questions and yet they are not so different from the examination of conscience.
The Church has a good habit that they tried to teach me, yet the way I interpreted it was not a positive or helpful thing. Part of me wonders if this woman was taught it in a better way, or if she figured out and created a more helpful practice from what was originally taught.
How you view this practice and your perspective around it is important. I think I avoided doing the examination of conscience regularly because it was a negative experience and felt yucky to me. I viewed it as a time to beat myself up for my failures instead of viewing it as a time to learn, appreciate and improve. Wow, that feels so different to me, yet it is really pretty much the same thing. It is focusing on a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset.
No one and nothing is perfect. I am a recovering (struggling) perfectionist. I don’t believe God wants or expects us to be perfect. We only learn and grow from our mistakes. A mistake or failure is not permanent or an ending, unless we view it or make it that way.
I am trying to embrace my mistakes and keep learning from them. I am trying to get out of my comfort zone and do things I may “fail” at or not be good at. All of us would be better off with taking the long view and just keep getting up and trying when we fall down or mess up.
My lesson this week was to look at and appreciate some of the rituals and rules in my religion and how they are there to create habits that will help us become better, kinder, and more loving people.
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