I often think about the “fine” line between two extremes such as:
- Rethinking versus over analyzing
- Going with the flow and slowing down versus being lazy or complacent
- Feeling your feelings versus wallowing
- Saving money versus being a scrooge
- Trying too hard and forcing something that is not right versus working hard and not giving up
I think about the “sweet” spot between these things and wonder how do we achieve it? How do we know or figure out what is best? How do we find the right balance between the extremes?
I can be an extremist which is not often a good thing but at least I know that about myself and I try to use this awareness to help me. I remember when I was a gymnast and they told me to do something I would take it to an extreme. Sometimes this was good and sometimes it was ridiculous. When I see one of my children do this I know where it comes from.
Each of us is unique and so only you know what is best for you. Part of finding the sweet spot is to try different things, play with the extremes and notice. Pay attention to what feels good and what doesn’t feel good in the moment AND over the long run. Notice what feels right for you. Keep trying and experimenting and learn from it.
Some of us are better at moderating than others. Be honest with yourself. Some people can be satisfied with doing something a little bit and others know that they cannot and will not be able to stop themselves once they have begun. This can be true in different areas – with food, time, spending and even within a certain area there may be specific things that you struggle with (candy, salty chips, shoes, books…)
I think most of us can relate to the “What the Hell…” phenomenon where you say,
“I know I already have…
been eating way too many sweets, so what is a little more?”
already gone over budget, what is another $1,000?”
been sitting on the couch all night, another show can’t hurt, right?”
Yes, this is WAY too easy to do. The trick is HOW to get back on track or not keep going down the slippery slope. Gretchen Rubin talks about how you don’t want a slip to lead to a fall where you don’t recover. We do not want to stay in the unhealthy or unhelpful unproductive place.
Yet, we all need breaks and downtime and special treats to make our life worth living, right? Then I ask, how much is too much? Or my ever present, “What is enough?”
Pay attention to how you handle different situations. Learn from them. Maybe it is better not to have any French fries because I know I cannot stop after a few and then I feel sick and gross after. Or maybe you allow yourself to do that once or twice a year as a special treat.
What works for you?
Where have you had success in the past with finding your sweet spot?
Maybe try things that worked for others and see if they work for you.
I like rules to help me, yet I know that rules do not work for everyone. Sometimes we need to learn tricks or ways to manage ourselves. I have a friend who is very strict on what she eats but gives herself a cheat day each week and this works for her. The cheat day allows her to have things she enjoys without guilt and is pleased with how she feels by eating carefully the other six days a week. This way of eating wouldn’t work for everyone, but it does for her.
Find solutions that work for you.
Only you know how it feels and if it is working.
Be kind to yourself and don’t give up!
One size does not fit all, but I believe if we keep trying and working and noticing what does work and feels good, we can find a way to a better more healthy and enjoyable life. We can find our sweet spots in the various areas of our life if we don’t give up.
Please note, that even when we have found a sweet spot, life and things change so it is an ever shifting challenge. Life is growth and transformation.
Have fun with it and know there is no perfection. We are often looking for an enjoyable, healthy “good enough” between the extremes.
I would love to hear of your success stories or struggles in finding your own sweet spots in any area of your life. Please share.
Wishing you only the best,
Tara
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