I read a lot of self-help books and heard for years the recommendation to focus on being and feeling grateful. I tried several times to keep a gratitude journal. I am an Upstander, so once I decide to do something, I usually follow through. Every night for over a month I wrote down 3-5 things I was grateful for. Even though I did this, it did not seem to “do” anything for me. I did not feel any better or any more grateful. I felt like I was checking something off of my to-do list but I did not like nor enjoy it.
I kept asking myself, “Why do so many people keep recommending we do this?” It felt like a chore that did not have any positive ramifications so I stopped after I tried doing it several different times.
I agree that if you can appreciate the things you are grateful for, it can change your perspective and how you feel, so why wasn’t this working for me?
I am not sure exactly why it did not work for me but I have found something else that I like instead. I DO like and enjoy my current gratitude practice. It feels really good for me and gives me what I had hoped to get out of doing a gratitude journal so I decided to share that today during this unusual and challenging time.
As part of my morning routine I think about specific times, moments, or memories that I am grateful for. I do this for about 3-5 minutes.
For the specific memories I have chosen, I think about:
- what was happening
- what I saw, heard, smelled, or tasted
- who I was with
- how I felt
- what I loved about it, etc.
I try to be as detailed and explicit as possible. I go back and try to relive the moment.
I usually do a few consistent ones from my past – Nimit and my first kiss outside under a beautiful summer star filled sky, a special moment from our wedding, moments from my time in Bend (see photo above) and in the Poconos last summer.
Then I remember and focus on a special moment or two from the day before or very recent past – playing cards together, holding hands with one of my boys on our walk, playing catch, reading and cuddling together, or just sitting peacefully reading by myself. 🙂
This daily practice where I think of moments I am grateful for helps me focus on the people and connections I care about. It helps me to remember the activities and experiences I find most enjoyable. It appreciates the simple little things that I want more of in my life while also feeling thankful for those special experiences in my life.
I have found that I truly enjoy this time to help me start my day feeling happy and grateful. It helps me remember and appreciate special times in my life. I look forward to it and it does change how I feel.
This practice also helps me be more present and on the lookout for moments I want to remember in the future.
I recommend that you try this slightly different version of a gratitude journal. I don’t write anything down. It is sort of a “Thank You” prayer yet it brings me such joy and happiness. It is a way of thanking God and those people I love and appreciating the meaningful times and memories in my life. For me these are the lived moments that make all the difference.
I hope you are able to create a few special memories during this unusual time. Be well and take care of you.
Love,
Tara
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