I had a few questions and comments on the visual I put at the top of my last article. My normal process is to write and then when it is done, I look for a picture or image to go with it. I had seen this image before writing the article but did not have it in mind when I wrote it. Since I wrote the article before attaching the image, I thought there was some confusion and gaps in presenting them both together.
I now feel the need to discuss this “Who do I want to be during COVID-19?” image a little more.
I love that this image shows different zones that we ALL are and will continue to experience. It gives names to and clarifies many thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Obviously, there are many more and you can at least imagine or figure out which of your feelings and actions belong in which zone.
It is important to note that we will not sequentially move or progress from the Fear Zone and “graduate” into the Growth Zone. This is not a one way progression. We all will move between each of these zones – probably many times a day. Each of us will respond in our own way and be in a different zone relating to different areas of our lives (work, family, friends, finances, etc.).
I like this image because it makes me think. It makes me realize that I can change and react differently. I want to be intentional, to know I / we have options and choices.
What can I control? What can I let go of? What do I really need? This time is making us question things and view things differently.
I know for me my biggest struggles have been in
- Being able to focus (I am not getting things done like I usually can)
- Naming my emotions (at times I am overwhelmed with emotions and / or upset but I’m not sure how to specifically label it or know what is causing the emotion(s))
- Accepting the uncertainty of how long this is going to last.
I believe the trick is to not stay in the Fear Zone.
Yes, at times we all will be in the Fear Zone. We want to move past it, make an effort to move through it and hopefully we will get better at moving into and being in the Learning and Growth Zones more. We will go back into the Fear Zone too. And that is okay.
My number one most common message to myself and others always has been but especially right now is,
“Be kind to yourself and others.”
I know my own patience is not what it usually is. So I need to do more self-care, give myself more processing time, more deep breathing, more of giving myself a break – physically, mentally and emotionally. If you make a mistake, notice it, and try to learn from it for next time, but do not beat yourself up for it. Let it go.
We ALL are doing the best that we can during this unprecedented time.
I truly believe that good will come out of this. There will be great growth for all of us individually and for us as a society. Great learning and growth comes from change and challenges.
This brings to mind the Nelson Mandela quote,
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
Right now it is hard to know even what we are afraid of. Yes, we may be feeling afraid of getting sick or losing a loved one or of how to pay our bills. There is so much change. So much uncertainty. So much to grieve. Allow yourself to feel and try to just notice. What is important to you? What can you learn from this? What positive moments and memories can you create from this? Who do you want to BE now and in the future?
Try to view this as an opportunity – to learn, to grow and be who you most want to be(come).
Sending love and patience to you all.
I would love to hear how you are doing, what you are doing, and what you are thinking about during this time.
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